21 Comments

Great read - made me think of the Buddhist Eight Fold Path (my husband is Buddhist) - one of which is ‘Right Livelihood’. I derived a great deal of satisfaction from my previous career as a midwife. I am a Druid and the equivalent for us is ‘Service’. Our work/career often has a point of divergence - my husband was an architect and chose to build ‘council’ houses and elderly care homes rather than ‘gin palaces’. I know someone who as a law student had the choice to pursue human rights or corporate law at one point. I believe that for too many it is lifestyle that is chosen over fulfilment - the choice led by economics rather than peace of mind. I feel privileged to have never been driven by anything other than what intuitively felt ‘right livelihood’.

Expand full comment
author

Totally agree Lynn and thanks so much for reading. Your reference to the Buddhist Eight Fold Path is a brilliant reminder for me to go back and reflect on some of the Buddhist readings I've explored in the past.

"Service" is a concept I find thoroughly comforting both mentally and spiritually - the ability to offer support/aid and compassion is liberating. It brings great inner fulfilment when one is able to align personal value systems to their chosen career path or 'right livelihood'. It is such an important aspect of life because our actions often have a cascading impact on others around us, both close and afar.

The distinction between economics and peace of mind is intriguing and something I've been meaning to write about when I've got the time. There is so much to unpack!

Expand full comment

This piece really resonated with me. Someone very close to me recently died very suddenly. He had lofty ambitions, achieving most of them in his short life. His aspirations were mentioned at his funeral, but the stories of small individual offerings of kindness to others were remembered above all else. Never underestimate how meaningful service and genuine interest in the well-being of others is; it changes individuals, and the ripple effects last longer than we can imagine.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much for sharing Bex and I'm very sorry for your loss.

What you shared is a poignant reminder for us all on how it is the little things that often matter the most in initiating enduring change and warming people's hearts.

I agree, it feels liberating to show genuine interest in others; the concept of listening and providing unconditional attention is energising. I think it fosters a sense of connection too at a deeper level.

Expand full comment

This piece was incredibly powerful. The last line, "Let our lives be an ode to humanity and the many virtues that guard it from losing its sheen," literally blurred my eyes with emotion. The push and pull of the ego desperate to find its healthy seat in life is quite an experience, indeed. Gorgeous writing.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Renee for the kind words and I'm very pleased the idea resonated as it makes writing these articles all the more rewarding. You're absolutely correct, the conundrum of where the Ego should sit is at the heart of the human condition. I spent quite a bit time daily trying to understand my reactions to events/people/news around me and I find it a useful introspective exercise. I do the same when I face challenges with my work and its alignment with my values.

Expand full comment

If the majority of people took time to understand their reactions we would have a vastly different world more responsive and compassionate.

Expand full comment

"The most enduring form of purpose lies in how we harness our own circumstances and resources to create sustainable change no matter how big or small, to advance the universal development of humanity." Love this. I think one thing many people struggle with is feeling that they should be doing something bigger. It's hard for the ego to accept that everything we do in our lives, even or maybe especially when unnoticed by the wider world, leaves something behind.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Antonia. I couldn't have said it any better: "It's hard for the ego to accept that everything we do in our lives, even or maybe especially when unnoticed by the wider world, leaves something behind"

I think part of the challenge is how we are through processes of institutionalisation (schools etc) made to fit cultural templates of how we should define success, purpose and meaning. This is something I've often thought about as a father to 2 young boys. I'd like them to grow up appreciating the value of their agency and know that their actions should always be filled with positive and compassionate intentions, no matter how perceivably insignificant they may think these actions are.

Expand full comment

I definitely relate to this! My kids are just entering the teen/pre-teen years, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to erode the outside self-assessment metrics that are imposed in school, along with looking at every action as meaningful in the ways that you describe.

Expand full comment

I love this and copied it out to remember and I also wonder about the "bigger" vs "smaller" actions or ambitions that influence our life's course. When I am confronted with so much that needs help, my ego tells me that I will fail because there is so much and so little will be impacted by my actions but then a recently-made friend needs help navigating health insurance or I find an organization who is doing things to help that I believe in and if I just "do it" it takes me somewhere closer to the sense that, in addition to writing (which I love and hate), I am moving closer to my life's purpose.

Expand full comment

I go through this exactly same process all the time and have to constantly remind myself of exactly what you're talking about here!

I co-run a weekly math games activity with 8/9-year-olds in the local school, and every single time I do it I walk away feeling so much better about life and myself. I didn't stop climate change but I spent 45 minutes connecting with a few kids and laughing with them and helping build their math confidence. That's never a wasted thing.

Expand full comment
author

Beautifully put. A community is truly the heartbeat of purpose. It manages to thrive beyond the cultural and social metrics of success that surround us. The world will truly be a wonderous place if everyone embraced the natural philosophy of the aspen tree. Such an elegantly simple but yet profoundly impactful metaphor.

I thought about it this morning as I was reading about the war and how the resolution of it (when it arrives) will always be transactional in some ways - we need someone to appreciate the beauty of human interconnectedness just like the aspen tree.

Expand full comment

This is just the most lovely essay all on its own. I think I'll print it out and pin it above my desk as a reminder!

Expand full comment

I agree, Antonia. That sense of wanting to do something bigger is a weight I feel. I often consider it might be a choice--either follow the ego into that something bigger, or allow 'the bigger' to guide my steps. Not sure if my consideration has any truth to it though! :)

Expand full comment

I guess uncertainty is something we have to become friendly with! Not always easy.

I try to think of it all as being like an aspen tree. You know how aspens are actually a vast interconnected plant underground, and the tree part up top -- which is so pretty! I love aspens -- is actually a small if nice visible side-gig? I try to think of my work as being part of the underground aspen plant. Community.

But there are a lot of different kinds of trees, and plenty of underground fungi and other life forms to support them ... trees are such useful metaphors!

Expand full comment

How beautiful, Antonia! I recently watched a program about the underground communication of trees. I found it truly amazing. When I walk in the forest behind my house, I feel the sentient quality of the trees. I'll be thinking of trees all day now :)

Expand full comment

Same!

Expand full comment

"I’d be in a perennial search for that next seductively unattainable dream to appropriate as my new purpose." I would like to offer a complement to what you've said. You can be in search for purpose while accepting that you will still require a certain level of novelty, innovation and creativity in your life. My archetype is Architect and I had to realize what you described is a very deep part of who I am. I have found that constant learning is required, and much of what brings me joy is the process. Once I've "arrived" I tend to leave. All the while no matter what you do can be to fulfill a greater overarching purpose. Don't be too hard on yourself in the meantime 🙂

Expand full comment
author

Love the much needed nuance here Brian. And I'm in full agreement.

I've been programmed, since a young age, in part due to my own ambitious nature, to keep striving for something perceivably better. At some point 'the chase' became exhausting and I wanted to explore this patterned behaviour more deeply.

You have eloquently captured the significance of why we do what we do - to enjoy the process and continue learning and if that means moving on to other areas then so be it. As you alluded to, self-compassion is a key part of this too. I guess one can "arrive" at several moments in life.

Expand full comment

I definitely understand the exhaustion. Not just for us, but for those around us who have trouble understanding that drive. Great article Josh. I look forward to reading more about your future arrivals 👍

Expand full comment