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This resonates so powerfully. The very notion of identity is like the flimsiest of plastic clingfilm covering the infinitely rich dessert of Self. The plastic is great at keeping the flies off your cake, but getting lost in identity seems to me like eating the wrapper and forgetting about the treat it contains. Thanks for this post!

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Thanks so much Nicola. The clingfilm metaphor is so beautifully appropriate in capturing the complexity of identity. Like a veneer that hides the treasure of the self to all but the most introspective of minds.

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Your son's question was beyond his years. How beautiful is his awareness.

Little boxes, little black and white boxes to make momentary comforts to those buying into the fabricated boxes only brings vast suffering in the end. I understand the need for trying to make sense of patterns, but when the efforts of trying to make sense results in harming the hearts and minds of others, of the individual, it ceases to be of any true value. Until we can educate ourselves without denying the gift of a human being to be a self-reflective and valuable consciousness, we aren't a truly learned species. It takes courage to not rely on boxes, to see an individual as a unique expression.

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Haha yes he is quite inquisitive and I’ve learnt so much through his way of seeing things for what they are.

Perfectly articulated Renee. At times these boxes feel exhausting (at least to me) because in certain circumstances we’ve just got to “play along” - with the census form being a case in point.

I guess we have the ability to create a space or distance from identifying ourselves solely with just one thing or a box. I’m trying my best each day to reinstate an analytical (and spiritual) separation between the labels around me and my being. It’s an arduous (and sometimes impossible) journey but I think it is a necessary part of conscious living.

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I've read several times that intelligent young children around 5-11 years old are more philosophical and insightful than most adults. I wonder, is it the "boxes" that quiet that wise voice when hormones kick in and adulthood is nearing?

I am ignorant of identity politics, so my comments may be way off the mark, and I offer my apologies. But maybe the work of identifying patterns to gain a glimpse of understanding can be useful if we keep it in the realm of human exploration, yet not get lost in this type of map.

There is a Vajrayana Buddhist idea saying, "Keep your feet grounded on the earth and your eyes to the sky." Meaning, we play along, knowing we are and take care not to cause harm to others, while keeping our eyes to the vast and boundless sky where there are no categories of this or that. I fear I just made a mess of my thoughts, but in case I didn't I'll post :)

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I couldn’t have said it better and I absolutely love that Buddhist saying you quoted.

I’ve written it down in my notebook as a reminder to myself.

I think as a human species we seem to, over time, lose sight of the bigger picture and the interconnected threads that bind us all.

I’ve always found that the more we detach ourselves from the labels that surround us, and sit with the discomfort it may bring, the more resilient we become in the face of life’s vicissitudes.

There’s a part of me that hopes my kids would always remain as wise as they are now. We often mistake wisdom for innocence because there is an underlying acceptance that we lose that sense of clarity over time and the sight of the sky.

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It seems that humans react to both life's difficulties and joys by either losing our inherent wisdom or cultivating our inherent wisdom. I think so many of us lose the sight of the sky, as you so beautifully write, when we get afraid of not surviving, of trying to please and fit in, of finding purpose under the wrong stones.

I agree, we often do mistake wisdom for innocence. It's so easy to do as both hold in their essence a type of unbounded openness. Yet, I believe, one knows of the openness and the other does not. Although I've been alive long enough to know my beliefs change as I see more of the sky, so I may have to revise my answer in the future :)

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This resonates with so many things I've read or heard recently. One in particular was an Isolarii book (https://isolarii.com) of conversations with Edouard Glissant. He talked about the concept he had of "creolization" -- not multiculturalism, exactly, but the recognition that different cultures and identities will always affect one another and change in relation to that which they interact with. I'd never thought about creole language or culture that way but it was really interesting. As was reading this!

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Cheers for the link Antonia, I'll have to check it out and get my copy. "Creolization" is such an interesting creative cultural phenomenon - a cultural performance of sorts. I remember being first exposed to it through the work of Robert Chaudenson, but this was back in 2000 or 2001, I can't remember. I think he also raised an interesting meta-colonial dimension underlying creole French. Can't wait to dive into Edouard Glissant - his work has been on my reading list for a while now.

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I will try to get hold of that book. As a teacher (in working class areas) I was always dismayed by the low expectations some kids had of themselves, because of the stories they and others had constructed about their prospects. Once you could get them to see through that, they did well for themselves.

On the cultural identity aspect, I found an interesting clash of cultures when I worked for a government organisation. We weren't allowed to accept gifts, but we hosted a meeting with people from Japan, who would have been highly insulted had we not accepted their gift. We got around it by accepting the gift, and then I think it was given to charity or used to raise money for charity.

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Thanks for writing in Terry. You would find "Learning to Labour" a stunning read in terms of its honesty and reflections on the cultural tensions (and opportunities) so apparent in the working class school setting. I think many of the narratives will resonate with your experience as a teacher. It's interesting in how kids often have specific visions of their own prospects which are in many ways ingrained through cultural socialisation and experience. It must have felt very rewarding to be able to broaden their vision of themselves and role in society.

Interesting to hear about the gift acceptance protocols. I currently work in the government sector and we have the exact same rules. All gifts have to be logged in a register and given to charity. I find it interesting how gifting has its own unique cultural relevance in different countries - there seems to be a sacredness to the act of giving which is beautiful in itself.

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Do I contradict myself?

Very well then I contradict myself,

(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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Ah…brilliant and relevant! “Song of myself” was a a paean to humanity and so much more. 👌👌

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